January, 2013

dating + the(un)disturbed mind

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A girlfriend came by the house the other day bearing gifts of Coffee Bean. As we sat at the kitchen table and sipped our Sumatra roast she gave me a rundown on the date she’d just been on with a guy.

My friend is striking – the last time I was at an airport with her, someone mistook her for a famous actress and asked for her autograph – smart, entrepreneurial and funny as hell. What amazed me was how quickly her conversation veered off the cliffs of her own self-confidence and into an abyss of uncertainty and self-doubt.

The guy hadn’t called or texted (yet).

My friend wondered aloud if she had been funny enough, or charming enough, if she had talked too much or too little, if she had freaked him out with an offhand comment she’d made about having a family –

“Dude,” I finally said, “stop. Just stop. Stop second-guessing yourself.” click here

Jan 31, 2013 · 14 Comments / ADD YOURS

the question you need to ask yourself

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When you make the conscious decision to be the predominant creative force in your own life – the teller of your tale – you have to get really good at asking yourself this:

What do I want?

It’s not just about the big things. Creating a life is also about the small things, the day-to-day things, how they knit themselves into the ultimate story of you.

I was in my car about to make a dash to Starbucks for a coffee and possibly a cakepop, as I am wont to do, when I suddenly thought to ask myself

What do I actually want? click here

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Jan 29, 2013 · 10 Comments / ADD YOURS

how to be a visionary

“If you bring forth what is within you, what you bring forth will save you. If you do not bring forth what is within you, what you do not bring forth will destroy you.” — Gospel of St. Thomas

I read an article about the top 10 regrets of the dying. Four regrets stood out for me in particular:

I should have pursued my dreams and aspirations.
I should have said “I love you” more.
I should have spoken my mind.
I should have had the courage to live truthfully.

All these regrets could be bundled into the failure to live an authentic life.

An authentic life, by its very nature, is a creative life, and rebellious. You push back against click here

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Jan 24, 2013 · 15 Comments / ADD YOURS

stages of personal change + the unexpected shape of success

You broke your resolution. That’s ok.
You are not a loser.

Regression is a stage of personal change.

The first stage: Precontemplation.
When you’re living in the dark.
You have yet to come to consciousness
Or admit that anything’s wrong.
Denial is not just a river…yadda yadda.

The second stage: contemplation.
You are aware of the problem and ponder it. click here

Jan 10, 2013 · 5 Comments / ADD YOURS

success is not a straight line

off the coast
there was

a splash quite unnoticed
this was
Icarus drowning

— William Carlos Williams

In his new book THE ICARUS DECEPTION, Seth Godin takes on the Icarus myth. You know the one: there’s this kid, his dad invents some wings made out of wax, the kid straps them on and flies high. Very high.

The sun melts the wings and the kid plunges down, down, down into the sea.

Not a feel-good Disney kind of ending.

Every culture uses stories to transmit the lessons teaching people to obey – and to encourage others to obey – the status quo. (If you want to understand a culture, get inside the stories of that culture. If you want to change a culture, find a way to change those stories.)

Godin writes:

“The lesson of this myth: Don’t disobey the king. Don’t disobey your dad. Don’t imagine that you’re better than you are, and most of all, don’t ever believe that you have the ability to do what a god might do.click here

Jan 9, 2013 · 17 Comments / ADD YOURS

so-called laws for the creative badass

“Life was never meant to be safe. It was meant to be lived right to the end.” — Caroline Myss

Thou shalt…

Listen to your body.

Take direction from your gut as well as your head.

Redefine power.

Cultivate passion.

Seek new experiences.

Connect the dots.

Live with intention.

Develop laser focus.

Make time to daydream. click here

Jan 7, 2013 · 19 Comments / ADD YOURS

“those who tell the stories, rule the world”

“Those who tell the stories, rule the world.” — a quote that’s been attributed to Plato and as a Hopi American Indian proverb

When I first started seeing a shrink, I had to get over my own self-consciousness about talking about myself (even though I was paying someone in order to do so). It felt so incredibly self-indulgent.

Yet the more I learn about myself, the more I learn about other people and how best to navigate the world. The large is in the small. If the world is in a grain of sand, the world is also in each one of us, if we’re brave enough to look close and be utterly, utterly honest.

Our mistake is in thinking – in being trained to think – that we are separate, isolated, and cut-off; that our experiences, by virtue of being our experiences, aren’t relevant to others; that our stories are of little value. Too confessional. Too self-indulgent. click here

Jan 6, 2013 · 5 Comments / ADD YOURS

it is time for you to go on an adventure

“It’s not what you’ve got. It’s about how brave you’re prepared to be.” — Seth Godin

It is time for you to go on an adventure.

It is time to unlock your soul’s code
and confess what you know
You need to do with your life.

You are not yet what you need to be
The journey makes you what you need to be
The journey owns you.
Resistance hurts yourself and others
(You die in drops and inches.) click here

Jan 2, 2013 · 10 Comments / ADD YOURS
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