May, 2013

too hot to graduate?

“Sure I’m an asshole that loves to take advantage of women who are willing to bang me without me having to offer too much, but at the same time I am also a gentleman that knows how to treat a lady with respect and compassion just like any other true lady should be treated.”A Typical Bloke

A friend sent me a link about an Orange County mom’s blog post in which she slut-shames the girls her sons go to school with (endearing herself to their parents in the process) by questioning the outfits they wore to graduation.

6 REASONS WHY I’M GLAD I DON’T HAVE DAUGHTERS, she wrote, and then posted photographs of the girls – subtracting their heads, so the emphasis is on their anonymous body parts – dressed in shorts, short skirts and heels. She provided the kind of saccharine commentary that makes someone, somewhere, want to punch a unicorn: “The little gal in the nude mini…won my award for the most inappropriate outfit of the night…..This girl, bless her heart, showed the entire audience her panties as she ascended the stairs to collect her award…” click here


May 29, 2013 · 20 Comments / ADD YOURS

the bullsh*t of permission + the power principle


I went to hear Sir Ken Robinson give a talk at UCLA.

One of the things Sir Ken mentions in his talk and new book (FINDING YOUR ELEMENT) is that

“the World Health Organization predicts that by 2020 depression will be the second leading cause of death in the world, affecting thirty percent of all adults….By some estimates, ‘clinical depression is ten times more likely to torment us than it did a century ago.’” click here


May 25, 2013 · 13 Comments / ADD YOURS

on the art of mastery and soul-making

“I play a Gibson Les Paul through a 65amp half-stack. Love that amp. It’s so huge-sounding. I’m all about big, nasty, sleazy dirty riffs, and that amp with the Les Paul make my sound. I also play around with some pedals. One of my favorites that I used on the record is a Death By Audio pedal called the Supersonic Fuzz Gun. It’s so messed up and dirty sounding. I love it.” — Siouxsie Medley

The other night I went to see a band in downtown LA.

My friend Marc and I developed a fascination with the guitarist.

The band played hard rock, thrashing and soulful, and she was this waif in a sweatshirt torn off one shoulder and long brown hair whipping around as if the music was punishing it (in a good way) and she stalked her end of the stage, body rocking and rocking it out, hands a blur in every photograph I took, and let me tell you boys and girls she owned that instrument. She was ruling it and working it, which let the music work magic through her.

She didn’t look like she was that many years out of high school. She must have found her way to guitar in her teens if not sooner. Holed in her room, the bite of steel in her fingers, as she leveled up from suck to nonsuck to halfway decent to decently average to hey, that’s not so bad to hey, that’s pretty good to damn, girl, play that shit again. click here

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May 22, 2013 · 6 Comments / ADD YOURS

you do hereby swear to engage in acts of creative rebellion

“Creativity is the greatest rebellion in existence.” — Osho

I [state your name] hereby declare that I am a Creative Rebel, also known as a Creative Badass, and that I am either Female or a great friend of the Female or in touch with my inner Feminine, my Soul. As such, I believe the following:

My creative ambition, however it chooses to express itself, is my birthright. It is central to who I am. It involves the need to play, to experiment, to make a mess, to embrace the great beauty of imperfection, to understand that there are no mistakes. It requires that I wander and dream and expose myself to interesting things and follow up on what catches my fancy.

Thus, it might not always seem that I am quote-unquote “being productive”, but I shall trust that deep forces are at work, even when it appears said forces have gone to Tahiti. click here


May 17, 2013 · 6 Comments / ADD YOURS

on being original + fierce

I was exchanging emails with a writer of a novel I admired, when he asked me how my own work was going.

It goes in fits + starts, I wrote, partly I think because I didn’t have enough distance from the real-life things that inspired it. I lacked clarity. Also, afraid to write some of it, which I take as a good + promising sign.

He agreed that it was a good and promising sign, because that meant “the stakes are what they ought to be.”

I loved that response, and told him so, and he came back with an anecdote about a well-respected writer he knew who was judging a literary contest and reading through the novels that had been nominated and finding them well-written, yes, very much so, but…uninteresting…because there’s nothing in the way for the writer. There’s no obstacle. Nothing real is at stake.

All of which I think is another way of saying, The writer failed to go there. click here

May 16, 2013 · 1 Comment / ADD YOURS

provoke the world

“What makes the content you create awesome is that it’s a story told through your unique lens. It’s you, telling a story. It’s you not giving a fuck about anything but telling that story. ” — Paul Jarvis

I have a friend who likes to say he’s out to change the culture. (Oddly enough, I have a character in my novel-in-progress who likes to say the same thing.) I have friends and friends of friends who want to change the world. A few of them actually are.

This can put a lot of pressure on the rest of us.

We’re a generation that somewhere along the line developed insanely great expectations of what we’re supposed to accomplish with our lives, and what our work life is supposed to accomplish for us (higher meaning, deep soul satisfaction, startling revelations of identity, free coffee).

Dominate the world. Put a dent in the universe. Be a bestselling writer. Find true love. Get ripped abs. Save the children. Find good childcare. Lead the company to a huge IPO. Find my car keys. Follow your bliss. Save the whales. Leave your highly paying but highly stressful job to go open a cheese shop in Botswana just like you dreamed of when you were a child. Raise click here


May 12, 2013 · 8 Comments / ADD YOURS

what we talk about when we talk about purpose

You can’t have everything. Where would you put it? — Steven Wright

So you want a purpose. It’s a shame you can’t just buy one off the Internet. But if you don’t have a purpose, and you’re looking for a purpose, maybe that is your purpose right now. To engage in that process of discovery.

Call it a vision, a mission statement, a personal creed, a tattoo: different strokes for different folks.

Purpose is a way of nailing ourselves to the world.

It’s that point where our inner life connects to a shared and much larger picture, through the expression of what Nilofer Merchant calls our onlyness. click here


May 6, 2013 · 2 Comments / ADD YOURS

beyond virgin/whore: the art of creative womanhood

The two women exchanged the kind of glance women use when no knife is handy. ~Ellery Queen

Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing there is a field. I’ll meet you there. — Rumi

I walked into a party at a film producer’s house. There were a lot of people in black (including me) and a lot of well-toned women in Herve Leger dresses showing miles and miles of leg, balanced, sometimes precariously, on very high heels.

“Look at the Hollywood skanks,” said one of my girlfriends.

This would be an example of slut-shaming.

Slut-shaming is, as this blogger describes:

“…. the idea of shaming and/or attacking a woman or a girl for being sexual, having one or more sexual partners, acknowledging sexual feelings, and/or acting on sexual feelings. Furthermore, it’s “about the implication that if a woman has sex that traditional society disapproves of, she should feel guilty and inferior” (Alon Levy, Slut Shaming). It is damaging not only to the girls and women targeted, but to women in general and society as a whole. It should be noted that slut-shaming can occur even if the term “slut” click here


May 3, 2013 · 5 Comments / ADD YOURS
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